Saturday, November 19, 2016

Pokemon Is Dead To Me

I've been pretty apathetic towards Pokemon since I finished Gen IV. Gen V introduced nothing new, Gen VI introduced a new type and "Mega Evolutions" which are basically fancy-looking item power-ups, and fundamentally nothing changed. The games just kept getting bloated with more, unnecessary Pokemon who (to me) don't even look like Pokemon anymore.

I had some hope for Sun & Moon. I thought the Ultra Beasts might be Nintendo's attempt at breaking the mold and really giving us something new. Nope. You know what the Ultra Beasts are, that mystery they've been teasing us with for months? They're just more fucking Pokemon; legendaries, to be exact.

I've been saying for years, they need to stop giving us more Pokemon and start giving us new things to do with the ones we already have. If we really must have new Pokemon, fill out the evolution lines. Let us breed hybrids. But for the love of God, stop bloating the games with new characters just for the sake of having them!

I can't keep up with this shit anymore. We're gonna have Pokemon in the quadruple digits by 2020 if this keeps up, and I just can't bring myself to care about that many characters. Individual Pokemon are becoming less unique with each passing game now, it feels, and it makes me sad.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

A Brief Guide to Succeeding at Clicker Heroes

First and foremost, use this calculator. I mention this one in particular because it is mobile-friendly: all you have to do is punch in your current level of the ancient, Siyalatas. I've made more progress in two days than I previously did in two weeks since using this calculator. It really is amazing how much faster this game is when you optimize your playing style. My only suggestion is to ignore the suggestions for Morgulis; I'll explain this a little later.

My second suggestion concerns gilds. These steps will ensure that you always get the maximum DPS at all times.
  • Once you begin to pass Zone 200 without having to stop and farm, start re-gilding onto Treebeast, Ivan, Brittany, Samurai, and Seer. Use the "De-Gild" button for this.
  • After Zone 500, put all your gilds onto Samurai. You can hit "Boost" a bunch of times, but on mobile pressing the double-arrows will just move all of them at once. (I believe Shift+Click is the PC equivalent.) Re-gild to him after every ascension. (The heroes in the previous step will not be regilded until after a transcension.)
  • Keep a bank of hero souls so that you can re-gild during a run. Since you will re-gild to Samurai after each ascension, this is the only way to carry out the following steps.
  • When Samurai hits level 2500, re-gild to Atlas. When Atlas hits level 1500, re-gild to Terra. Continue moving up to the next hero each time you hit level 1500. You will probably ascend and transcend several times during this process; for the former, you will go back to Samurai and work your way up; for the latter, you will start back at the first step.
  • Eventually you'll hit Wepwawet, currently the final hero. When Wepwawet gets his upgrade for Betty, switch to her. When Betty is around the mid-9000's in level, you should be able to get Wepwawet's upgrade for Midas. Get that, and then switch to Midas. When Midas gets to about level 13,000, Wepwawet will be the more efficient hero once again; switch back to Wepwawet.
Following the calculator will assist with moving your gilds up the heroes' ranks. Some obvious benefits are the direct DPS boosts from Siyalatas, Morgulis, and Juggernaut; but other benefits are less obvious at first. You'll notice that the three gold-boosting ancients are always recommended to be at the same level. This is intentional: though Libertas is obviously the most powerful of the three (particularly with Xiliqil in play), all three boosts are multiplied by each other; that is, your total gold boost from a chest of gold is equal to Mimzee*Libertas*Mammon. Libertas may be the most powerful, but having all three at the same level  means you will always get the most gold for the least amount of hero souls. There is also Argaiv (viagrA), who indirectly boosts DPS by increasing the gilded bonus. Overall, the calculator simply ensures that you will always gain more hero souls than you spend during each ascension; and thus, more ancient souls during each transcension.

Speaking of transcension, always respec when you transcend. Unlike when you respec ancients, respeccing your outsiders is completely free. It is sometimes advantageous to lower one outsider's level in favor of another, and for the calculator's purposes this also lets you see how many ancient souls you have at the beginning of your run. The outsiders make your ancients better. In some cases this is direct, like Ponyboy boosting Solomon, or Xiliqil boosting Siyalatas and Libertas; in other cases, less so. Chor'goloth makes ancients cheaper, while Phandoryss and Borb respectively raise your transcendent power (TP) and increase your TP reward. Basically, you're getting more souls that can be spent on more ancient levels. The calculator will help you find the perfect balance to maximize this.

This brings me to Morgulis. I said earlier to ignore what the calculator says about him; this is because Morgulis' level is easy to calculate in your head. In an idle build, he should be your last ancient; in a hybrid build, he's your last one before getting the active ancients. Either way, he's not a huge priority. So what is Morgulis? He's a bank. Yes, the description says he makes hero souls more powerful, but this is incorrect: all Morgulis does is add a flat +11% additive bonus to your DPS per level. In other words, one Morgulis level is exactly 1% better than having one hero soul in reserve.

Since Morgulis is just a better soul bank, you should just put all your spare souls into him after leveling up the other ancients. Now, you will need to keep some souls in reserve for re-gilding, but if you've been paying attention to your spending habits then you know about how many you need to keep. (Personally, I just keep giving him "MAX" souls until I'm about two MAXes away from zero.) You might be thinking, "Shouldn't I be saving some of these hero souls to buy ancients later?" No. If you're following the calculator, the number of hero souls you gain should be at least doubling with each ascension. Besides, by the time you start dumping souls into Morgulis like this, the cost to purchase and level up other ancients will be peanuts compared to the amount of souls you're raking in. Besides, the extra DPS from Morgulis will let you do slightly deeper runs anyway.

One last thing: Morgulis is affected by Chor, but this will only show up when purchasing multiple levels; basically, some of his levels will be completely free when buying in bulk. This is why I always level him up with "MAX." You get tons of free levels this way; and since the number of levels bought with "MAX" increases every time you hit a new order of magnitude, Morgulis will get progressively more levels for free.

That's really all there is to say about succeeding in Clicker Heroes. Hopefully exploiting these little tricks and reaching record-high zones will tide you over until Playsaurus releases Clicker Heroes 2 (which promises to be a far more interesting game).

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Godzilla PS4 Players: Stop Forcing Us To Use Burning Godzilla

In my last post, I urged people not to use Burning Godzilla. Well, now it has come full circle. With the recent influx of newer players, those of us with higher win counts (900+ in my case) are being targeted by double-teamers who want to pad their rankings. It's to the point now where unless a high-ranking player uses Burning Godzilla, Kiryu, or Godzilla 2014, we are basically guaranteed to lose any 3-player match thanks to double-teaming jerks. It's not even just the sub-100 players now: folks with 300 wins or more will double-team us just for shits and giggles. Doesn't matter if I'm being Rodan, or Anguirus, or Jet Jaguar, or some other relatively weak monster: I will be double-teamed regardless. This is making the 3-player metagame almost unplayable for experienced players, and a lot of folks I used to see online regularly have quit the game entirely because of this.

Now, I'd love to solve this by sticking to 2-player matches, but there's a minor problem with that: almost no one plays 2-player, and the few who do immediately run to the safety of 3-player at the first sign of trouble. This means that if I want to play this game with other people, 3-player games are the only real option I have, and 3-player is nearly unplayable thanks to my win count.

This, quite frankly, is bullshit. I shouldn't be punished for being good at a game I like. If you're so worried about losing to a skilled player, then watch what those players do and apply it yourself. Don't bully us out of the game just because you don't like to be challenged.